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Posts Tagged ‘stephen colbert’


Running title: America Again – Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren’t

The last time I reviewed Colbert’s I Am America, I did this a few YEARS after having read the book. I will not make the same mistake twice simply because I love America and I DON’T want the terrorists to win.
In the end of my preview of I Am America, I jokingly wished for a sequel. You think I am kidding, feel free to check it out … it is only a few posts down. I’ll wait …. *reading* ….. Oh good, you’re back. Oh ye of little faith, it is truly a sad day when an evil parrot word counts for naught. I am detouring.

From the moment you the book you can see from the cover that you’re in for a hilarious roller-coaster in tsunamic proportions: a bruised Colbert with knuckles up in Fight Club mode. To add to the heightened, humour-induced delirium the book features a sticker that indicates that you can now experience this book in 3D, high definition “deptiness”. And yes, it actually includes a pair of red and blue 3D shades (which, if lost, can be bought for $28.99 along with a complimentary second book from your nearest bookstore … as suggested by Mr. Colbert). Now to truly appreciate this book, it is important to read EVERYTHING in this book. Especially the usual odds and ends that we usually forsake to dive into the story. The book starts out with an odd “Terms and Conditions” section and though there is great temptation to avoid, I must encourage you to read it. I promise you, it is the dog’s bollocks.

Like , I Am America, Mr. Colbert dotes on an array of topics that litter our socio-political landscape: jobs, healthcare, energy, food, and the justice system. And for some reason there is a preoccupation with Jamba Juice.

Favourite tidbits on the run include (and this is just the tip of the iceberg):

  • Aside from questionable rewrites of resumes (and he gives a hilarious example of such) he advises on ending the interview hand shake with a blown kiss since “a little romance never hurt”.
  • On surviving jail: “When all the other meatheads are grabbing the free weights, grab the oft-overlooked rhythmic gymnastic ribbon and put on a show that will rock everyone to their emotional core.”
  • Using the analogy of a Mrs. Havermeyer who uses a bit of shit in her cookie batter to outdo the competition at a church bake sale … to explain Collateralized Debt Obligations (CDOs) which is surprisingly effective and tremendously hilarious (seriously, you’ll piss yourself silly when you come across and you’ve had too much liquids to drink).

Needless to say, there is a lot more of this good stuff and I don’t want to be a wank and give away the cow for free … and other such bollocks.

Now for anyone that has read some pseudo-political screed being touted by some left or right wing blowhard has had to deal with footnotes. You know, that stuff that is stuffed at the bottom of pages to give you the impression that it is validating the author’s blathering balderdash but it is nothing more that some boring run-on that is enough to make you whip up (and down) a sulphuric acid cocktail coated with some powdered glass …. just to make your day (and reading) fun again. The bad news is that Mr. Colbert employs a lot of footnotes in his writing. The really good news is that it is done with such majestic wit that to avoid it would be robbing yourself of the many humourous gems that really light up this book and renders you into giddy, giggling school girl. Yes, on public transit this can be very annoying, especially to certain Starbucks-clutching chicks that is trying enjoy and indulge their inner randiness as they read the “tastefully”, written Fifty Shades of Grey. Whatever, luv, but you could’ve done better if you read the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice. And yes, the Evil Parrot has just admitted to reading (gasp!!!) …. erotica. And once again … I have detoured (but more on that on a very later date …. waaaaay later).

In a nutshell: Mr. Colbert has done it again. Fantastic wit and humour, and in many part you actually walk away learning stuff and possibly, soaked (or soiled) underwear and destroyed dating prospects. Small price to pay for such bloody good humour. I’m already looking forward to the next sequel (hey … it worked the last time).

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This book review is loooong overdue. I just hope Mr. Colbert can forgive me. And now with the pleasantries out of the way … we plod forward.
Unless you are living under a rock encased in a meteorite and buried at the bottom of the Marianna’s Trench … you should have an idea who Stephen Colbert is. If not, then you are probably Communist (just kidding … or am I). In I Am America, Stephen Colbert brings forth his brand of “truthiness” and slight illogical fear/hatred of bears to everyone living under the great blue skies in this fair, great land. It is hilarious, somewhat troubling and then hilarious again. Troubling yet hilarious bits include things like sleeping with a loaded gun underneath your pillow and firing away at any shadow that moves in the house after 8 PM … as mandatory duty of the man of the house. Troubling, maybe, but bloody hilarious (as it turns out, I am not only easily amused but have a dark sense of humour). And the there is the downright hilarious bits like illustrating why it is better to be poor or rich but not middle class, where you practically piss yourself silly until you get to a point where you find yourself going, “hey, that shit’s not funny” … and then you move on the next chapter, and the laughter and pissing regains full momentum. Trust me, it never misses a beat. Now like every red-blooded male in this land, most of us don’t waste our time reading absolute bollocks like the “acknowledgements” and “foreword” and other such shite. Nay. We just plunge into the book, headlong, or as the 80s rock group, Accept, would say, “balls to the wall”. Bloody hell, an actual reference to Accept. Detouring … must … stay .. on … track. In I Am America, my advise to everyone is to read every part of this book. From cover to end. Simply hilarious, with some subtly disguised truths and great for destressing. To add to this, Mr. Colbert leaves a transcript of his cringeworthy performance at some press dinner in Washington that really makes you feel it for the ex-prez. Well, almost. The minerals on that Stephen. Brilliantly funny book, look forward to the sequel. There IS a sequel, right mate? Ahhh, c’mon.

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