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Posts Tagged ‘trolls’

Believe it or not, I’m not all about testosterone-induced action and violence, or horror gorefests decorated with crimson splatters and hung innards. Oh no. Aside from the rare blue moon (and I do mean RARE) occasion that may include some touchy-feely or naughty reading (and I’m not talking 50 Shades … there is sooo much better erotica out there … or so I have been told), I do like to indulge my funny bone. Alas, I am one of those easily amused types (Geico and Subaru dog-tested commercials make me completely lose it … and that’s just the tip of the iceberg). So when I came across the synopsis of Kill The Farm Boy, I couldn’t help myself … and needless to say, was not disappointed. Well enough with all the bloody pleasantries, and let’s get on it. Yeah?

Once upon a time, in a land far away, some princess got her finger pricked on a rose and she and entire castle fell into an enchanted sleep. Except for a half-bunny bard, that couldn’t hold tune to save her life, named Argabella. Meanwhile, in a farm (not so far away from the castle), a farm boy named Worstley (his brother Bestly was killed by a lord for being too handsome) is informed by a (seemingly meth-addicted, badly dressed , hygienical atrocity) pixie named Staph that he is the Chosen One. So like most “chosen ones” Worstley sets out, armed with a jar of pickled herring, to free the princess from her enchanted sleep. He is accompanied by a trash-talking billy goat (and scene stealer) named Gustave that has a taste for old boots (especially if its marinated in foot sweat of olde). Along the way they encounter a huntress/assassin named Poltro that has a fear of chickens and is a bumbling buffoon. There is a seven foot, ebony, female warrior named Fia who wears a chain-mail bikini and fears her own sword (that may be a wee bit vampiric in nature). Along with Argabella, there is the Dark Lord named Toby whose magical skills seems to be limited to causing half-done bakery products to rain down on you, though to both relief and dismay of the group this “skill” has saved the group from starving during their travels. Toby has also been known to make up for the lack “sorcery” skills by (gasp) outsourcing his magic to mail-ordered potions and whats-not. So as they set out on journey with an ever-evolving quest (yes, I’m afraid waking princesses from enchanted comas aren’t so simple since there will be unnecessary greasing of palms and strange favours) they encounter strange worlds: enterprising trolls with shopping bazaars that are meant to take more than money from unwary travelers; persnickety gigantic, rock monsters with refined culinary abilities that would school Gordon Ramsey; strange towns like the elven Morningwood with its strange inhabitants and naughty double entendres abound.

It is Monty-Python meets Princess Bride meets Airplane meets Nation Lampoon Vacation and even though the summer is close to an end there is still time to grab this hilarious read by the delightful Dawson/Hearne team. And end summer (officially in September) with some laughter … preferably poolside or on a beach. Yes, I sniggered and giggled like a little girl as I read this … on the transit systems … much to the dismay of my fellow commuters. I apologize if that unnerved the lot of you (though in NYC, that behavior is usually reserved for the mentally unbalanced or those imbibing strange chemical concoctions that might be illegal/controlled). The really good news is that this part of a series (YES !!!!!) called The Tales of Pell. And, heaven knows, we could certainly use a bit of levity right about now in consideration of the bollocks coming through the airwaves. Dawson and Hearne you have captured my heart and I can’t wait for the rest of the Tales of Pell. Rock on, Gustave !!!

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Ever since seeing the movie Coma back in the 80s, and learning about Cook’s writing, I’ve become sort of a closet fan of his medical thrillers. Of course, the other reason for me watching Coma was that I had a major crush on Geneviève Bujold (feel free to Google/IMDB her). Yes, I know some may say “but Evil Parrot she was an older woman”. To which I would reply “And ….?”. But enough about my … um, fascinations and curiosities, and let’s get on with the blooming book review … yeah?

It has been awhile since I’ve had my Robin Cook fix … yes, man cannot live by horror, espionage and crime alone. Sometimes I need a reason to be potentially scared shitless about hospitals and doctors and Charlatans did not disappoint (in a good way … that is).

The book opens with Bruce Vincent, a security administrator, at Boston Memorial Hospital (BMH) preparing for what should be a walk-in-the-park hernia surgery. Even better was that the star surgeon, a Dr. William Mason, had agreed to do it … so, yes, what could possibly go wrong. A word about Dr. Mason: older chap, narcissistic, loves to flirt (and make inappropriate advances to the younger female staff), never owns up to his mess ups, a wee bit chubby, and yes … drives a red Ferrari. Did I mention that he is the star surgeon of BMH? Somewhere along the line, something goes wrong in the surgery of Bruce Vincent and then we meet Dr. Noah Rothauser and Dr. Ava London (anesthesiologist). Needless to say that despite all efforts, Bruce Vincent’s surgery is ill-fated (keep in mind that this is not much of a spoiler since it all happens in the first chapter). And of course, the blame throwing begin. Dr. Mason blames Dr. London for messing up the anesthesia and even questions Rothauser’s intervention techniques during this crisis. On top of that, Dr. Rothauser, who is the chief resident, has to navigate this situation and the investigation into it. It then gets worse when more patients start dying and the anesthesiologist involved just happens to be the enigmatic Dr. London. With Dr, Mason breathing down their backs with especially a fiery red target on Ava’s, Noah and Ava decides to come together to investigate what’s really behind these sudden yet coincidental deaths. Did I mention that Ava had rebuffed many of Dr. Mason’s inappropriate advances in the past? Yes, Dr. Mason possibly has political career in sight (I guess I did go there … too real for comfort …oh well). Working together brings Noah and Ava really, really close as they find themselves indulging in a bit of the old in-out-in-out (yes, even Stevie Wonder on a dark moonless night could have seen that). Needless to say, word gets around and Dr. Mason, being scorned and jealous, turns the heat up on the duo. Meanwhile, there are two ex-military mercenaries driving around the country killing Internet trolls (though that doesn’t sound so bad considering the acidic atmosphere of social media these days). What have they to do with the story? I’m afraid you’ll have to read the book. To complicate things even further, the more time Noah spends with Ava, the more puzzled he becomes: a gorgeous, athletic-toned woman that spends most of her free time on social media with multiple avatars than she would with actual people. And then there are those times when Ava would simply just take off on a “consulting” trip to some state. Aye, red flags abound.
Online avatars, social media, murderous mercenaries, megalomaniacal doctors and a rising body count both inside and outside BMH makes Charlatans a riveting read as we travel down a vicious rabbit hole. In strange way Cook seems to educate while entertain readers about the medical world and its possibilities and its dark sides … as does most of his books. This spine-tingling medical thriller will force you skim the pages towards the twisted end. And most of all, it’ll probably make you look closely at what’s framed on your doctor’s wall.

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